A piece of angry literature…

” I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to love me again,
I put my hands up,
I’ll do everything different,
I’ll be better to you,
I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to love me again, “–

These are few lines from ADELE’s song “I’ll be waiting for you which sort off hit the right chord in my mind and heart. Love is a vivid feeling for many.


For few its a heartache, a few its gives wings, for few happiness. It all based on their experience. Anyways coming back to the song. This particular verses they seem to express and strong feeling. How a lover is trying to gain back his/her lost love. May be the one who lost love might or might not have done any mistake, yet wants to regain love for which he longs.

Is it not such an irony that the love which is supposed to make one strong, happy and all the positive things; can actually bring one down to his knees. Yet people still want  to experience that so-called love. Few play around saying its love when it’s actually lust.

Funny though, still love carries a high value. Love is like a drug; it has its upside as well as downside. To me the one who has lost true love is the one who knows what love really means. For he/she knows what means to go to bed and not get sleep cause images of his/her love coming to mind. Trying to smile so that the world does not know what kind off hurricane destroying his/her life from the inside. Love is just a game for few and usually not all love stories have a fairy tale ending. Not all stay loyal and keep their promises. For love is for sale in the society and the ones who sell it are hailed as true lovers. Oh  the irony… Well that’s ok cause if you really love someone the insults the mockery means nothing. For their lover might have left them astray and ran, but the one who truly loves someone will wait for he/she knows what the other person meant to them. We can find someone better or worse, but we cannot find someone exactly the same.

Attachment to the unworthy is literally preparing your own death casket with your own hands.

Call me a pessimist if you dare, for i have seen the good and bad sides of love that is why when i write this post my mind is running thru several thoughts and i am just going on putting into written form. It may all seem jumbled up,.

Love can put you up as well pull you down. It will make you cross the oceans mountains and very freaking odd. For love has that power and yet it also has the power t o pull you down and put you in a place where no fucking person should ever fall.

Wish i could say cheers to life but at this hour i rather not.

An advice do not play with the emotions of a being. It can kill him mentally. If you are there just for the fun of it go play with those kind not with the ones who would give you their everything.



Will you come back…

I was once the hunter along with whom you hunted,

We fought the wild human animals, not for trophy nor for fun.

We hunted to survive, to live, to be one amongst the crazy jungle of humans.

But once you found the new jungle, you found yourself a new hunter to hunt along.

Thus started when the hunter became the hunted.

You started hunting me down ,knowing that my hand would shiver to even lift against you,

for you know everywell that i fight for you and not against you.

Nonetheless forget it all i ask you now, will you come back;

when i make the whole world kneel before me.

Will you come back when you are old and have no one; for i shall wait to be with you.

For i am a hunter with a heart who hunted for you.

Will you come back when you realise that i was true to you even when you were not.

Will you come back when the misunderstanding settles down.

Will you come back when i lye down in my death bed awaiting one last glimpse of you ;

hunted down by your memories in despair, oh darling will you come back……???????????

An attempt to write a poem .. feedback are welcome.

Cheers to life


Search and destroy


“Go love your own enemies. Don’t be loving mine.  I’ll get on with the business of destroying, isolating, and combating the enemies of civilization.” -Christopher Hitchens


It was a normal evening just me and my peg of whisky under the beautiful stars. As the pegs went down, i was slowly drawn back by my ever thinking mind; it took me back few years back. I went into the process of remembering enemies of my peace of mind. And suddenly out of no more i shouted out a sudden scream out of anger and it my sudden outrage shocked my buddies who beside me…

When they asked what happened i couldn’t answer them, just told them a white lie saying some insect bit me. And i continued in my thought process and in the end only one person was stagnant in mind. The one who was once the abode of happiness in my life.

Getting to the main topic of discussion, forgiving the ones who hurt you. At a point in my life i thought yes it was worth it. Then one fine day i came across the saying of Christopher hitchens stated in the beginning. Even though he was talking bout the religions somehow my mind got hung on with the enemies of my life other than religion itself.

Forgiveness is taken lightly in the current society. The forgiving are perceived to be weak, and as per Darwin it is the survival of the fittest.

I am not saying go and physically destroy them am sure nor did Hitchens.

As per me destroy means, destroy the perception in their mind that they can boss over you, control your emotions, or matter fact of fact control your life. Destroy them with success , with knowledge and make sure next time they think of even talking bout you; weak is not the personality they remember about you.

Do not forgive destroy them with success and most of all destroy them with head held high and make sure they get your point.

Remember a step back is not failure it is just setting yourself to jump higher and higher.

So go destroy your enemies using your intellect and hard work.

And this is my personal viewpoint so if you do not believe in it thats fine but do not take my words otherwise and make up your own theories

Cheers to life



SU-30MKI pilot, dream of many, reality of few…..

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This).”

You have to dream before your dreams can come true. – Dr A.P.J Abdul Kalam

Well the above great words of wisdom from the Missile man of India is enough to stress the importance of dreams. Since the 3rd grade i remember my passion of becoming a fighter pilot in Indian Air Force.  I was so crazy about it that i  let go doing my engineering and chose bachelors of science in college.

So this dream is the one i dreamt when i was in my 2nd yr of college.  I remember the night i had just fallen onto the bed after reading an article about the IAF SU-30MKI squadron. So as i remember the dream was something like i had been chosen for AIr Force as a fighter pilot and i was assigned into the Sukhoi squadron, and i actually saw my in a g suit with a map on my lap, helmet in my hand and every pilot eye gear, an aviator. And i actually flew the mighty Russian metal bird of prey. I woke up in shock sweating as if i had seen a nightmare, my heart was pounding out of excitement and thrill. It was if i had already had become a pilot. I remember texting my Then girlfriend saying i got this dream and she had literally laughed like crazy saying that i dream of fighter jest instead of her .

But then its been a long time now, i couldn’t become a pilot that i always dreamed off and nor did my second love,i.e the girl be with me so i lost both of them in my attempt to be with both of them. But yes whenever am really upset i still remember that dream were for a few minute i flew the jet in my dream.

My dream still remains to be a dream, but the lucky part is i read over the internet that in Russia we can actually fly a decommissioned fighter jet THE MIG, it may not be My SU-30, but hey a fighter jet it is end of day. So trying to save up some big cash that one day i can fly high in sky in the cock pit of a fighter jet. That’s the least i can do after losing out everything chasing the dream…

I wanna talk more bout this craze however i do not want to make it a lengthy one .

Cheers to life



The broken….

There he stood still in the rain drinking off the bottle of scotch under the street light; trying to figure out where he was. He was fully off his sense due to the heavy drinking. He was a like 3 yr old lost in a mall. Vehicles passed by him nearly hitting him.

He was tired of standing, somehow he found a tree to get under. He stood there trying to drink same time make him self warm. As he was doing that, suddenly his eyes went to the tree he just realized that the tree was somewhat familiar. He tried ignoring the thought but his mind pricked him and was trying to make him remember.  He took a while, the bottle fell from his hand shattering into pieces; he realized what that tree meant. It was the same tree where he had proposed to his lady-love and she accepted his proposal. He went into a state of shock, it was like the past was just passing in front of his eyes. He started shouting saying “get away from me get away from me..!!!”. Some how he gained his sense back and he fell there in the puddle of rain mixed with the bottle pieces. He went into a flash back mode.

He remembered the happy days when he was top of the world, when he didn’t care for anyone or anything and all that he cared was for his lady-love. He remembered the risks he took, the fights he fought, the relations he broke just for the sake of that girl. It brought a smile  on his face, tears of joy filled his eyes. The rain stopped, but the rain in his eyes did not. He remembered how he got played by that girl. He remembered his fall from grace, he remembered why alcohol and cigarettes become his best friends. He remembered the reason for his sorrow. He remembered the betrayal of the one he loved the most. The promises which the girl had made started hitting his ears which were later broken by the girl. His heart started pounding faster and faster. He started shouting saying ” kill me now damn it. kill me now”. But there was no one to listen to him plead. He somehow controlled himself and said to himself that all this is brought upon him by himself, for he ignored family and friends for the sake of that girl and now neither he has the girl nor his loved ones. His girl had told the world a bundle of lies and defamed him, yet he kept quite for he loved the girl with everything he had in him. The girl who was once down to earth had suddenly gotten fake pride. She had called him a worthless beggar with nothing monetary with him, he was broken for within  he knew where and how he had spent the money on.

The morning sun rays was about to hit him he sobered up and started getting up and trying to find his way home, his cellphone had nearly hundred miss calls from his friend and mom. He smiled looking at the phone and started walking. The elderly people who were in their routine jog stared at him and one of them passed a loose comment saying “Bloody drunkard”, he over heard the comment called the old man and said ” Grandpa am not a drunkard, am trying to fill in the gaps since I am just broken from the inside….”

Stories sometimes can be fiction for few and the truth for others its all bout how one relates to it….:)

Cheers to life



The kid who looked up to the skies…

He stood there hungry and drenching in his sweat from the hot summer, he was a loner. orphaned at a very young age the streets gave him shelter the kind heart one’s gave him food. He was kind to all, never spoke much. He used to play with street dogs and learned the hard way that a dogs loyalty is more than that of human.

He used to go near by shrines where he saw the rich the poor just sit and mumble things in front of “God”, he always wondered whom were they mumbling to and what were they mumbling. So he went to this old man who used to sell tea near by and asked him what was that place and why do people go there. For which the old man said” It is place of worship my son where people go to pray”. Surprised by hearing the word GOD for the first time the kid asked for more info with the old man. The old man gave an explanation best of his knowledge taking the side of god.

As the curtains of sunlight were bought down and night fall came, he looked up at the skies and for the first time started looking for GOD of which the old man told him. He saw million and billion of star and the shining moon. But no one seemed to answer him as he spoke. He was disheartened. And cried away himself to sleep with an empty stomach cause in trying to understand the concept of god he forgot to beg for food.

Next day as the rays of sun hit his small teary eyes he woke up and again looked up and tried to speak with GOD.  He went on to his routine begging for food. Luckily he found some leftovers at a rich mans house. Eating it he joyfully went near the old man and said he tried speaking to god but god did not respond to him. The old man laughed and said god does not talk in such ways. the astonished boy was angered and said “what kind of person is he ? who does not have the courtesy to respond back when some one is talkin to him”. The old man looking at the innocence of the child said ” Yes i know child, my wife also used to tell the same when i used to spend hours together pleading him to cure my wife’s cancer. But i do not know how he speaks. For i have stopped talking to him for almost 10 yrs now since my wife died.”.

Confused with the words of the old man the small boy went off to play with the dogs and he started talking to the dogs. Even though the dog did not speak it was wagging its tail and playing around which made the boy forget the questions in mind about god.

At the start of night fall i boy decided to sleep off near the mountain this time. As he reached the old abandoned house in the mountain he again saw the star filled sky. Much to his surprise he saw a man near by looking up to sky in huge pipe kind off contraption. walking up to the man the boy asked ” hey mister are you also trying to talk to god..?”. Surprised to see the boy the man said ” no kiddo, i am trying to look at the constellation of stars;   why do you ask”.

The boy explained how the old man had told him about GOD and his wonders. The man couldn’t stop laughing at the innocence of the child and said ” Kid look up the sky “,

He started seeing the sky and asked in a polite tone ” Ok, what am i supposed to be looking out for”. For which the man hushed him and told him to just look and enjoy the sky filled with stars. He was for the first time enjoying the sky rather than trying to find the invisible man in the sky. The man brought the telescope near him and said to look at the sky through it. He saw the stars at close range he was be dazzled at the milky ways. He asked the man is that god up there. For which the man said no its the universe out there trying to contact with us humans and tell that there is no invisible man up in the sky it’s just us the galaxies, the planets the asteroids.. And the whole night the man explained in lay mans terms about the universe.  As the moon said bye and the sun said hello the boy was in knowledge of the sky to an extent. Unlike his previous night he was not disappointed rather he was filled with joy that there was so much for him to learn. He told the man he wants to know more about the universe the galaxies he wanted to learn. The man was over joyed by the curiosity of the kid , being married for 10 years and not having a child. It sprung an idea in his mind of adopting him so he took the kid home. When his wife opened the door and asked who it was the man said “The kid who looked up the sky….. in search of god ”

Just an attempt to write stories hope you like it

Cheers to life



Always Something There to Remind Me

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Always Something There to Remind Me.”

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Music is an alternate medicine for many at times. Music soothes the mind when no one else can calm us down. Personally i have a lot of songs which has a personal resemblance to my life.  So here is how few songs reminds me of few things in life.


Whenever i listen to the song “In the End”by Linkin park, i slowly slip away into the struggles, the heart aches, the fight and the situations i went through to be in the current situation which is kind off much more worse. The song reminds me of my fall from grace. It pricks me every time as if it is a mocking me and the things i did in my life for one single person. And as the songs finishes it starts an anger an need to get back from the ashes in me. It is in short the story of my past 8 yrs of life in a song.

Funny though how a song can evoke such powerful emotions of a being.  It kind off gives me a trailer in my mind of how things changed in my life since 2007, how i struggled to reach a stability in life and finally when i was enjoying it; Baamm got hit by the one thing i hate the most betrayal…. Life is never the same ever since June 2014. And this song gives me the very strength why i need to get back up despite the trouble i been thru and still going thru.. SO thank you linkin park….:)  Cause i have been NUMB, WAITING FOR THE END TO COME yet IN THE END i felt like i was in a CASTLE OF GLASS FROM THE INSIDE i BLEED OUT to BREAKING THE HABIT and said to my self NO MORE SORROW cause SOMEWERE I BELONG….:)

Cheers to life