“We shall not be like others”- This is the exact words of you which haunts me every night from past one year. Its been a year now that you went away from me without giving a proper reason. It always haunted me, and i came up with my own theories which pointed towards me as the culprit. While you partied all night i tried to stay sober and sleep. Sigh.. While i was dying to see you and talk to you, you were busy avoiding me.
I still stay loyal to you despite you letting me go, do not why. I loved you a lot and still do, i was called as a crazy mad guy. I laughed at such words which is just one from the many others tags i got for loving you so much. But i don’t blame you, may be i was not up to your mark or may be i loved too much that i got over confidence that you will not leave me and go. Or may be it was just you who gave up on me….
Every night i struggle to get a decent sleep. You got everything in life while i lost everything i had. Well at least one of us is doing great in life. Am happy for you but to be really honest sometimes i do feel frustrated as to how did you move on while am struggling since one year to forget those wonderful 6 years we spent together.
I do not know whom to trust, i have lost the ability to trust people. I really want you back but do not know how to get you back. I know the old you, the new you is really out of my league. Every night i spend thinking how to contact you, how to tell you how much i still love u and miss u… But then only way i get to express is through tears and unheard prayers to every deity in the universe.
Every day is like swimming in a pond full of poisonous snake. Even the thought of death came across many time in my mind. But then i tell my self “Shut up, there is a lot of responsibility as a son to your parents that you need to take care off “. This may be really depressing to read if you ever read it. Just imagine how hard it must be for me just to write it down while so many memories goes on playing in my mind.
It just hurts to think that i am without you and yet am surprised that i had the strength to somewhat live the pain….
Your thoughts come to me every day for i did not love you for a brief period of time for when i fell in love with you i knew it was for this lifetime. And yet here we are where only one of us is still keeping the promises made……..
Cheers to life