Fight unto victory….. yea sounds right. That’s what i believed till last year, till i changed myself. It was fun fun to fight for what you believed in, what you persevered for.; then comes along a moment in life when all that is shattered in a matter of minutes. And that starts the burning rage. This is an small intro of a series of post to be published in coming days.
The rage is not to kill, or to hurt. The rage is upon myself for being naive at an stage of life where it was meant for something else. The anger, the rage is justified for at times we need to become monsters for the world fears only them. For justice is delayed for the righteous. and that’s when you become your own hero, your own savior.
The trauma still makes me doubt the goodness in others. Ever wondered how it feels like to wake up in the morning to the dreams of the one who betrayed you. And everyday its the same routine. everyday is like another bloody battle to survive the inner battle and the world outside. Faking smiles faking happiness, even when every cell in the body wants to break apart and break all hell loose. Ever get that rush of anger through the body…? Well its not a nice one though. It is a mess of mind and heart. I do not know if am winning or losing all i know is she is winning the battle of memory.
Falling from grace was not an easy fall it took a great toll of me mentally emotionally and strategically. But hey i survived and that’s what makes me happy despite the anger.
Now on a track to recovery i do not know whether i will win this one cause its an battle i never intended to fight but was pushed into battle for someone else needed me to fight it.
The hunt for happiness is gone for now it is just a battle for success for now i realise success will only cover up for me falling off guard. when love betrayed the mind fell into a pit of unknownness and darkness.
Cheers to the battle