Troubled mind

Since days i write on a topic as i reach halfway i delete everything i written, which made me wonder why am i so restless. Then i realised my mind is gone blank and i just wanna lye down on the bed and sleep it off.

Funny though the mind which once was my able wingman as go numb as if am brain dead. WHen i think why so i just get the glimpses of the past which haunt me and makes me run from every job every place i go.

I question myself at times saying why am i running why can’t i just accept the facts and just bloody move on forgetting everything. Then i get this weird answer saying if i had to give up now why did i even bother fighting so long. The upside of all this is i get solitude no matter where ; lot of time to introspect myself. Where i want to be how i want to be and i realised i no longer want to be rich and powerful all i want is just to be happy and have peace of mind.

It seems as if the trauma has brought out the hermit inside me seeking nothing but solitude and peace. But then the other half of me wakes up with a rage asking for a revival of what is lost. Seeking to take up the insults as challenge and prove them wrong.

The confusion is which one .. the peaceful solitude or the loud victory . While solitude gives me feeds my soul, victory wants to feed my pride. Both are good in their own way. The battle of the wolves have began i do not know which one to feed. So i came here….

The battle will have its toll, which is worth it i do not know for i have seen the worst there is ..

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Published by

airboy89

Seeing life from different perspective like "everyone else". A bit of a realistic person and bit of "hope" there are fairy tale ending too type. Love travelling, reading drinking scotch and write whatever comes to mind for i have no certain type of genre since I write for my joy for my relaxation and peace of mind. I like to be what i am rather than be what others want me to be at times can be a stubborn ass and sometimes soft totally depending on the way i get treated. Love being alone even though its not my choice. Love listening to music and sip scotch as i dose off to dream land .... Rest you can find in my post so why don you just check them out... on instagram @the_hkesh on face book @ https://www.facebook.com/hemakesh

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