Troubled mind

Since days i write on a topic as i reach halfway i delete everything i written, which made me wonder why am i so restless. Then i realised my mind is gone blank and i just wanna lye down on the bed and sleep it off.

Funny though the mind which once was my able wingman as go numb as if am brain dead. WHen i think why so i just get the glimpses of the past which haunt me and makes me run from every job every place i go.

I question myself at times saying why am i running why can’t i just accept the facts and just bloody move on forgetting everything. Then i get this weird answer saying if i had to give up now why did i even bother fighting so long. The upside of all this is i get solitude no matter where ; lot of time to introspect myself. Where i want to be how i want to be and i realised i no longer want to be rich and powerful all i want is just to be happy and have peace of mind.

It seems as if the trauma has brought out the hermit inside me seeking nothing but solitude and peace. But then the other half of me wakes up with a rage asking for a revival of what is lost. Seeking to take up the insults as challenge and prove them wrong.

The confusion is which one .. the peaceful solitude or the loud victory . While solitude gives me feeds my soul, victory wants to feed my pride. Both are good in their own way. The battle of the wolves have began i do not know which one to feed. So i came here….

The battle will have its toll, which is worth it i do not know for i have seen the worst there is ..


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