In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Out of Reach.”– Write about the one X that got away — a person, an experience, a place you wanted to visit. How much would you change about your life to have it within reach again?
As I read the description of this daily prompt a hundred thoughts came across my mind. So here goes the one person who got away rather the only person I ever had been the source of inspiration and happiness to me at one point in life. I would give up on anything and everything for her. Call it madness/obsession/truelove or what so ever.
The innocent smile with a kiddish voice and a very friendly nature so many guys behind her and call it luck or fate she became mine. The things i would do to get her back is anything right now, Well , huh lemme see ah definitely talk to my family despite knowing she was of different religion. Then comes the saving money part instead of spending it like crazy; hahah and ah control my anger and my stupid stupid not so funny jokes..:P
Quit smoking and drinking, and most of all i wish i could control my attachment to her and not do the stupid decision of fighting with her family. Then ah yeah wish i could quit my job earlier and fly to Dubai by not listening to her saying come after few months. I do not know if am trying to find fault in self to compensate the haunting question of what did i do wrong..? that she left me.
Life seems so lost without her at times when i sit alone and think on where i wanna reach,the most common thought which comes is if she were here i would have handled it differently.
Memories were created and she forget apparently, but am happy that she is happy without me and she achieved the success for which i am still struggling but yes if i could go back in time i would definitely stay away and adore her and be her secret admirer and still be happy without having her.
Every time i write bout her it brings a mixture of smile and tears for people say forget her but they do not know the struggle we been through together and something changed her may be my love was not sufficient may be i needed to show her more love may be i should have been more ah stupid and not so serious..heheh or may be i should have never fell in love.
If i could i really wish even now after almost one and half years of a very painful breakup that i could save the relations i would give up on everything i have got and will get. For i loved her too much n still do. I do not care bout being laughed and mocked at for being emotional and crap. I know i love her no matter what. Cause i gave in everything i had even when i had no strength to take on the challenges of life. funny how one person could affect me so much huh.. But that’s life may be some people are just meant to come as rainbow and then disappear….
I had kept this post in my draft since 2 days adding on cause its hard to control my emotions when i think of her and realise she is not in arms but in someone else’s and not know the reason why she hates me now and left me in a puddle of confusion, pain and depression. But i know she is happy and is achieving all those dreams which she wanted to achieve. what wouldn’t i give to get her back. Here is a small a poem …
You came as an oasis to my life,
filled my life with river of happiness.
You thought me to pass the mountains of sadness;
you were the reason for my smile back then and at times even now.
When you had no intent of staying why you made me look into the distant future
Oh girl what were you thinking; i am no cheater
I was there to stay and not to run away.
You do not know how deep gap you left in my heart Oh girl, I was crazy but you thought me that i was perfectly crazy.
I miss you even now, i still stare at the moon trying to find you
for you said years ago ‘whenever you miss me look at the moon’
but why is it that i do not find you.
I was a fool that i was thinking that we were invincible as a couple.
I write bout you thinking that one day you will read it and know how i loved you.
You are happy and that’s the only silver lining in this mess.
my heart never got the strength or audacity to forget you or fall for someone else.
loneliness is my best friend, thoughts are my family.
Alcohol my medicine.
Your memory my heaven
Oh girl, i still love you, wish you would know……………..
This post seems all messed up i do know that but no matter how much i tried i couldn’t put words from my thoughts cause my hands shake when she comes to my mind.
Just an advice never play with emotions of others for it may not matter for you, but the one whose feelings are hurt knows the hell he has to go thru….
Laughing and mocking at the pain of others is easy try helping that’s something tough…is it not..:)