Find myself

Taken with Lumia Selfie
Taken with Lumia Selfie

Let me find my self; oh dear

For i am lost searching for you;

searching in the places were we once spent time

riding the buses leading to your home

hoping to see you;

Let me find my self; oh dear

for i am still trying to find my mistake oh righteous queen

I am still trying to pick the pieces of my heart which you shattered

as if it was a cheap souvenir;

Let me find my self; oh dear

for i am still lost in your love

even now ; for i tried to run to the shade of drinking

but it only reminded me of you more.

I tried dear, to forget you how you forgot me.

I ran to every help i could find

i tried to party hard i tried to drink hard just so that i can forget you

Let me find myself ; oh dear

i am still struggling with my life

Oh darling you have no idea

the night are the hardest honey trying to get a shut eye

Oh baby when you shout out loud in happiness

i give a silent shout trying not to harm my self.

Oh baby i still am keeping the vow i made to you

i know it means nothing to you

but darling i meant every word i said.

Oh baby you told the world that am a bad guy

sweet heart couldnt you get more harsh words dear

for your happiness you can throw me to the wolves

i promise i will not come leading the pack.

Oh baby you found a new guy honey

but baby i couldnt replace you baby

cause i loved you then, i love you now and i shall love you forever

Oh baby you got friends and family to share your good and bad times.

But honey here i am trying to keep quiet even when

my whole world is falling apart.

Let me find myself; oh dear

I promise i will get as far as possible from you

once i find myself.

Oh honey my smile is gone i fake it every fucking day

oh darling you still live in my heart and mind.

darling i remember the good and bad days

we spent together.

Oh baby you may not hear my cry and that is

okay since you deserve happiness, but

do i deserve this pain tell me

Oh how can you tell for i am no one for you now.

I fight the clouds of depression everyday.

I do not blame you oh sweet heart;

its all my fault i not worth your love may be.

Or may be i was to become this savage and you just held me back till now.

Oh dear let me find myself; i promise then u shall not find me ever again

no matter the amount of prayers you do no matter the miles you walk.

Oh dear i am sinner in love and there is no one to redeem my soul.

You were the saint and you only left  me .

let me find myself; oh dear

For i am lost forever may be…….


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Seeing life from different perspective like "everyone else". A bit of a realistic person and bit of "hope" there are fairy tale ending too type. Love travelling, reading drinking scotch and write whatever comes to mind for i have no certain type of genre since I write for my joy for my relaxation and peace of mind. I like to be what i am rather than be what others want me to be at times can be a stubborn ass and sometimes soft totally depending on the way i get treated. Love being alone even though its not my choice. Love listening to music and sip scotch as i dose off to dream land .... Rest you can find in my post so why don you just check them out... on instagram @the_hkesh on face book @

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