Footstep

As the sound of footsteps

were no longer heard,

the giggles vanished

the cute shouting

went numb.

The ride along the

road turned into

a lonely trip.

She was there same time not there.

She became Schrödinger’s cat

live example.

She took it all away

the smile, the happiness,

the very essence that

kept him alive.

She thought of it as a Yiddish

act what she did.

But she did not know

that, that was what

he liked it in her

cause she made him feel like

a kid without being ashamed of it.

She outgrew it while he was

dragged into that state of innocence.

Hands were clapped together to

every imaginary being

for mercy for a miracle.

The hands which never knelt before anyone

came down n fell onto her

feet. But

he was immature for her now…

He cried a river and oceans for her

but she had built a dam

to obstruct those from reaching her.

The soul which was once alive

died, it died a death that it

wished not even

worst of his enemies should get.

Silent cry for peace was witnessed by the 4 walls

and the darkness of his room.

Madness was the only way out.

From a one faced man,

he turned himself into a two-faced person.

A smiling Buddha in the morning

and a fire-breathing dragon at night.

Death was the only wish he wished upon

the shooting stars.

his heart ached for the pieces of memories,

the arms longed for that last hug

cheeks wished for that one small kiss

heart prayed for that warmth she bestowed upon him.

From a depend less

person he had become

a dependent of a soul who left him in

the pit of fire.

Pages of poems, heaps of unsaid words

in form of letters all just to himself

meant for her.

For fate, life, destiny all

played one of the most cruelest joke

from transforming a beast into a

human and later let him rot in

the agony of memories.

Heart was broken, mind was

shattered, soul damaged.

He lost himself, searching for her.

In the streets, in the buses in the trains,

in the garden, all but in vain

for it was all gone she

was in the arms of another man.

All he could do was ponder as to

what he did wrong,

what was it that he fell short of.

As he heard her name his eyes

would glow with a hope that she is

around.

He would search the crowd with

a hope that she may be around

only to realize she is present in his

heart and soul.

Anger and sadness walked inside

while smile danced outside.

People disturbed his soul,

whilst solitude rejuvenated.

All that was left was memoirs of the

glory past where she walked beside him

now all that was left was a damaged armor

with a sword on his back

passing through the heart

as a mark of the LOVE that

once tamed the savage beast.

Words wanted to come out

but couldn’t speak out

for the senses also cheated .

Hope was lost, dreams were crushed.

Happiness was destroyed.

A mini-universe within

collapsed onto destruction.

All the alcohol in the world

all the smiles in the universe

could not relieve him

of the fire burning inside..

The flame burns till now

hoping for her return

destroying him inch by inch.

Somedays he wants to destroy

the world

somedays he just wants to see the world

burn down by itself.

Somedays he wants to hunt down the wolves

somedays he becomes the wolf.

Some days he is at a paradox with himself

and some days he is at peace.

And that my friend is the reality

the bruises that love leaves behind

when love leaves………

That is the state of the heartbroken

who fight the demons which they

help create…

pain is a daily

routine when one tries

to express in words they just go

numb…. for some pain

are felt and not expressed

for some emotions are cruel

beyond …

 

 

 

 

and thats it…

It was meant to be

or was it intended to be

both lead to the same outcome

on a smaller scale.

memories were created

knowing that the

future was unknown.

It didnt hurt a bit

when reality bit in installments

But it hurt when the installments

added up to the larger picture

and created you and I

from us.

What once united us

made you and me today.

There is no tears in

the depth of regret.

There is no pain in

the well of depression.

There is just

a small

hope,

hope not for the new

beginning, but a hope

for a dark subtle

life away from all

and the world.

But everytime

I try to reach that paradise

which I call as such,

Is withheld by the thought of

the massacre it would

leave behind if i reach my destination.

there is no medicine to cure these

sleepless nights

There is no music to sooth

there is just

the thoughts, thoughts

which not all understand.

An all time working brain

to mum the heart.

Words metaphorically

trying to express the depth of thoughts

same time not to be understand by all

for that is meant to be; for that is truly intended to be…..

and that’s it.

 

Cheers to life

 

 

 

 

Confessions of an Alcoholic…. :)

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol , divine for a few and hellish for others.. But hey both got their own reason to say what they believe in. So let me take the formers side.

So we hear about all that is bad of this divine drink which i say is made for a reason. A drink itself is a form of art, to prepare a drink which we sip enjoying our self has a lot of hard work before it reached our glass. Now the making is not my topic so moving on.  Alcohol has its own good and bad sides. But hey we prefer to focus on the bad… Waav i mean how can you forget the times it was with you on lonely nights or how it sparked an inspiration or the times it made you create funny stories to laugh at.

Remember the peg of scotch mixed with ice cubes which helped you keep calm while you had to be at the company of incompetent fools. Well that’s the beauty of it for few it gives the power to be patient while for few it gives the courage to put out whats been hiding inside. On a personal note, Alcohol is not that bad if you have control over it rather than it controlling you. It helps you cope up with things in life. Hey people may beg to differ saying take medicine but i say alcohol itself is  a medicine…:)

Every alcoholic is not a bad person, as like any good things in life even alcohol has a shady side.  So do not tell alcohol is bad.

Huh so come to the confession part, personally i think scotch is the king of the drinks. It has its own power or that special x factor to it. The fiery feeling you get as it goes down your down mixed with nothing but ice cube is absolutely divine.  Hey its more enjoyed when in the company of oneself in a quite place for it gives you the best advice’s you ever got. Drink enough to remember who you are not to forget whom you were.

The best drink comes when you are at the company of sky,the stars , a smoke( a cigar )  and some wonderful thoughts to think . Personally one of the best drink i remember having is that on my last birthday with a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red Label in room some good music and the whole night to enjoy the drink.

People say drinking is bad i too believe it in a way, people who should have in limit, Cause there is a whole life to enjoy it…:) The  trick to it is drink as much as you want when you alone at your home or where ever you can be to yourself without disturbing others. While you are at it make use of the thoughts which come write it down. And next day when you are sober read it, edit and i promise it will be either an epic advice or a solution or anything. Just give it a try.

Drinking over the limit as per me is a trophy most enjoyed when you are with yourself. It kinda gives you the answers to the unanswered question which bugs you, it makes you happy when you are sad by letting you be the real you.

Drinking is not the problem, the reason for which one drinks is the problem…well that’s what i think, well whom am i kidding drinking or the reason both are not bad..:P

So enjoy that drink carefully and cheerfully…..

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.” – Mark Twain.

Appreciation

Cheers to life

Airboy89