“If you’ve ever lost someone, then you know that sometimes when you think of them you try to imagine where they might be.” – Lemony Snicket

“If you’ve ever lost someone, then you know that sometimes when you think of them you try to imagine where they might be.” – Lemony Snicket.

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When anger turns into sadness

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There he stood by the sea shore, seeing the setting sun.

He forgot that the moon rises as the sun sets;

He wept for the sunlight went away.

He was unaware of the beautiful night skies that would be above him.

He wondered why o why had the sun set.

For he had lost his intellect due to the sadness in his heart and mind.

He was not sure of what was happening,

For it scared him; he shouted as though a sword had pierced his heart,

It was a cry of confusion, anger and sadness.

Nor the moon or the stars could console his longing heart.

For his  longed for the moon of his life and not the moon of the world.

He kicked the sand, he smashed the waves. It was in vein.

For he could not control mother nature, It grew a sense of guilt in him.

For he was fighting the ones who were trying to console him.

He was sunken in guilt and confusion;for he thought

it was his mistake that the world around him had broken off.

He thought he could control the uncontrollable

He failed vaguely trying.

All wondered what went wrong,

for no one knew that his anger had turned into sadness once again.

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Cheers to life

Airboy89

A piece of angry literature…

” I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to love me again,
I put my hands up,
I’ll do everything different,
I’ll be better to you,
I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to love me again, “–

These are few lines from ADELE’s song “I’ll be waiting for you which sort off hit the right chord in my mind and heart. Love is a vivid feeling for many.

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For few its a heartache, a few its gives wings, for few happiness. It all based on their experience. Anyways coming back to the song. This particular verses they seem to express and strong feeling. How a lover is trying to gain back his/her lost love. May be the one who lost love might or might not have done any mistake, yet wants to regain love for which he longs.

Is it not such an irony that the love which is supposed to make one strong, happy and all the positive things; can actually bring one down to his knees. Yet people still want  to experience that so-called love. Few play around saying its love when it’s actually lust.

Funny though, still love carries a high value. Love is like a drug; it has its upside as well as downside. To me the one who has lost true love is the one who knows what love really means. For he/she knows what means to go to bed and not get sleep cause images of his/her love coming to mind. Trying to smile so that the world does not know what kind off hurricane destroying his/her life from the inside. Love is just a game for few and usually not all love stories have a fairy tale ending. Not all stay loyal and keep their promises. For love is for sale in the society and the ones who sell it are hailed as true lovers. Oh  the irony… Well that’s ok cause if you really love someone the insults the mockery means nothing. For their lover might have left them astray and ran, but the one who truly loves someone will wait for he/she knows what the other person meant to them. We can find someone better or worse, but we cannot find someone exactly the same.

Attachment to the unworthy is literally preparing your own death casket with your own hands.

Call me a pessimist if you dare, for i have seen the good and bad sides of love that is why when i write this post my mind is running thru several thoughts and i am just going on putting into written form. It may all seem jumbled up,.

Love can put you up as well pull you down. It will make you cross the oceans mountains and very freaking odd. For love has that power and yet it also has the power t o pull you down and put you in a place where no fucking person should ever fall.

Wish i could say cheers to life but at this hour i rather not.

An advice do not play with the emotions of a being. It can kill him mentally. If you are there just for the fun of it go play with those kind not with the ones who would give you their everything.

Airboy89

The broken….

There he stood still in the rain drinking off the bottle of scotch under the street light; trying to figure out where he was. He was fully off his sense due to the heavy drinking. He was a like 3 yr old lost in a mall. Vehicles passed by him nearly hitting him.

He was tired of standing, somehow he found a tree to get under. He stood there trying to drink same time make him self warm. As he was doing that, suddenly his eyes went to the tree he just realized that the tree was somewhat familiar. He tried ignoring the thought but his mind pricked him and was trying to make him remember.  He took a while, the bottle fell from his hand shattering into pieces; he realized what that tree meant. It was the same tree where he had proposed to his lady-love and she accepted his proposal. He went into a state of shock, it was like the past was just passing in front of his eyes. He started shouting saying “get away from me get away from me..!!!”. Some how he gained his sense back and he fell there in the puddle of rain mixed with the bottle pieces. He went into a flash back mode.

He remembered the happy days when he was top of the world, when he didn’t care for anyone or anything and all that he cared was for his lady-love. He remembered the risks he took, the fights he fought, the relations he broke just for the sake of that girl. It brought a smile  on his face, tears of joy filled his eyes. The rain stopped, but the rain in his eyes did not. He remembered how he got played by that girl. He remembered his fall from grace, he remembered why alcohol and cigarettes become his best friends. He remembered the reason for his sorrow. He remembered the betrayal of the one he loved the most. The promises which the girl had made started hitting his ears which were later broken by the girl. His heart started pounding faster and faster. He started shouting saying ” kill me now damn it. kill me now”. But there was no one to listen to him plead. He somehow controlled himself and said to himself that all this is brought upon him by himself, for he ignored family and friends for the sake of that girl and now neither he has the girl nor his loved ones. His girl had told the world a bundle of lies and defamed him, yet he kept quite for he loved the girl with everything he had in him. The girl who was once down to earth had suddenly gotten fake pride. She had called him a worthless beggar with nothing monetary with him, he was broken for within  he knew where and how he had spent the money on.

The morning sun rays was about to hit him he sobered up and started getting up and trying to find his way home, his cellphone had nearly hundred miss calls from his friend and mom. He smiled looking at the phone and started walking. The elderly people who were in their routine jog stared at him and one of them passed a loose comment saying “Bloody drunkard”, he over heard the comment called the old man and said ” Grandpa am not a drunkard, am trying to fill in the gaps since I am just broken from the inside….”

Stories sometimes can be fiction for few and the truth for others its all bout how one relates to it….:)

Cheers to life

AIRBOY89

“Well, I Never….”

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Well, I Never….”

This is something which has many things to pen down, however i think i can zero in on the most devastating one and that is

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“LOVE”

People can go on giving BS positive side of love. Is it really there in this current generation or society. I don think so. Well in the words of Shakespeare “The course of true love never did run smooth”. The happiness which it gives is comparatively too little as to the pain it gives when it breaks us.

The smile which it gave in the beginning wont wipe the tears which it makes us weep in the end.

The hard reality is true love, most of the time hurts. It gives you wings to fly and when you reach a certain height. The wing is clipped , and at that moment is the test of true love. If both of them love each other truly then the one with the wings will help you fly. If not you shall fall from the height where you both flew.

The fall is not a easy one, it will rip your heart and gut out. once you hot rock bottom then the torture of memories is fatal. Few are lucky that once there wing is clipped they find another “love”, as for the rest who do not find the journey down is equivalent to death.

So the one advice i can give is fall in love when you are strong enough to bear heart aches and disappointments. Do not blindly love some one who is there with you for the good times and vanishes at your bad times.

Being in love seems colorful from the outside, but remember our eyes can deceive us.

True love always dies either alone or if one is lucky with the one whom you love. But do not go to try your luck in finding true love.

Cause heart breaks can break you beyond repair. For i have seen the better and worse sides of it. And still write the tales of it.

Cheers to life

Airboy89

The girl who once made me smile……

“We shall not be like others”- This is the exact words of you which haunts me every night from past one year. Its been a year now that you went away from me without giving a proper reason. It always haunted me, and i came up with my own theories which pointed towards me as the culprit. While you partied all night i tried to stay sober and sleep. Sigh.. While i was dying to see you and talk to you, you were busy avoiding me.

I still stay loyal to you despite you letting me go, do not why. I loved you a lot and still do, i was called as a crazy mad guy. I laughed at such words which is just one from the many others tags i got for loving you so much. But i don’t blame you, may be i was not up to your mark or may be i loved too much that i got over confidence that you will not leave me and go. Or may be it was just you who gave up on me….

Every night i struggle to get a decent sleep. You got everything in life while i lost everything i had. Well at least one of us is doing great in life. Am happy for you but to be really honest sometimes i do feel frustrated as to how did you move on while am struggling since one year to forget those wonderful 6 years we spent together.

I do not know whom to trust, i have lost the ability to trust people. I really want you back but do not know how to get you back. I know the old you, the new you is really out of my league. Every night i spend thinking how to contact you, how to tell you how much i still love u and miss u… But then only way i get to express is through tears and unheard prayers to every deity in the universe.

Every day is like swimming in a pond full of poisonous snake. Even the thought of death came across many time in my mind. But then i tell my self “Shut up, there is a lot of responsibility as a son to your parents that you need to take care off “. This may be really depressing to read if you ever read it. Just imagine how hard it must be for me just to write it down while so many memories goes on playing in my mind.

It just hurts to think that i am without you and yet am surprised that i had the strength to somewhat live the pain….

Your thoughts come to me every day for i did not love you for a brief period of time for when i fell in love with you i knew it was for this lifetime. And yet here we are where only one of us is still keeping the promises made……..

Cheers to life

Airboy89

The unsent letters # 3

Continuing the series  of unsent letters, its been a while since i wrote bout it so here it goes.

Dear past, this letter is to say sorry for what ever i remember that i did wrong if i missed out on any which you feel was wrong kindly has the grace to let it slide for i am burdened with a lot as of now.

There was a time where i was adamant, egoistic and every other word in the dictionary which defines my doing and satisfies your mind. I am no saint same time am not a bad person as well. Like every other person on this wide world i have done my bit of right and wrongs. I had lied to you bout certain things, which i later on accepted on my own and asked for forgiveness. It was the biggest crime i feel that i accepted my mistake for it took a deadly toll of my life. But same time i couldn’t keep it hidden cause i knew you trusted as much as i trusted you. But may be i trusted you a little too much. A grateful that u stood by me in my good and bad times. I am sorry i couldn’t be part of your success since you had already left me behind and walked that path without me. May be it was me you held you back fearing your safety for i felt you are a kid and do not know the bad of the world.  I have lost temper at times am really sorry for that. I tried to stop you from going away from since i feared that i might lose you forever, which in the future cam true. Even then when you were letting go i tried to hold on to you and at that instant it turned out a very ugly scene for you mistook me for each and everything i said or did. Later on after you quit on me i tried to get in touch with and you felt it as if am trying to steal your peace of mind am sorry that. Then there the recent happenings when i went all crazy hee-haw .. You heard the news from others and you were angry for it am sorry. I do not know what is the biggest blunders that i have done for which you are being a bad person for me. A, sorry for being still lost in your memories. I tried my best but i couldn’t for i know only to create memories and not destroy it. I have seen the best and worst of you. Why is it that you are not able to see the good in me and only judge me based on someone else’s view point. Am sorry but you are wrong to judge me based on others inputs for you know me betters than those no good doers. You know the path i been through of which they do not have the slightest idea about. Am sorry that i speak bout you with my closed one its with a hope that at least one of them might tell you how much i miss you .

Am sorry that you believe the world more than you believe me. I am sorry for the times i made you cry sorry for the times i was late sorry for the times which ever you feel i was wrong for i have tried to think over it again and again. I am no saint but same time am i no devil that you have currently portrayed me in your mind.

Am sorry that i was being honest with you am sorry that i was being loyal and true for now i learnt that the world runs on the rule of hypocrisy and falseness.. Am sorry i cannot be as such, for it is not in my blood and my principles for i believe in death before dishonor.

You may ponder why am i asking sorry on a web stage, well let the world know am wrong, for you trust the world more than you trust me. Hope someone reads this out to you and hope you think in an open mind and not from any bad perspective. And yes it is directed to that one person whom i speak of every now and then so friends and foes that person is right about me am wrong and am sorry ……… AM really sorry for i still remember you and wish i could change everything that happened given a chance… Forever 

This is for the one person if anyone reads kindly pass it on for i am restricted to talk to that person

Cheers to life

Airboy89