The unsent letters # 3

Continuing the series  of unsent letters, its been a while since i wrote bout it so here it goes.

Dear past, this letter is to say sorry for what ever i remember that i did wrong if i missed out on any which you feel was wrong kindly has the grace to let it slide for i am burdened with a lot as of now.

There was a time where i was adamant, egoistic and every other word in the dictionary which defines my doing and satisfies your mind. I am no saint same time am not a bad person as well. Like every other person on this wide world i have done my bit of right and wrongs. I had lied to you bout certain things, which i later on accepted on my own and asked for forgiveness. It was the biggest crime i feel that i accepted my mistake for it took a deadly toll of my life. But same time i couldn’t keep it hidden cause i knew you trusted as much as i trusted you. But may be i trusted you a little too much. A grateful that u stood by me in my good and bad times. I am sorry i couldn’t be part of your success since you had already left me behind and walked that path without me. May be it was me you held you back fearing your safety for i felt you are a kid and do not know the bad of the world.  I have lost temper at times am really sorry for that. I tried to stop you from going away from since i feared that i might lose you forever, which in the future cam true. Even then when you were letting go i tried to hold on to you and at that instant it turned out a very ugly scene for you mistook me for each and everything i said or did. Later on after you quit on me i tried to get in touch with and you felt it as if am trying to steal your peace of mind am sorry that. Then there the recent happenings when i went all crazy hee-haw .. You heard the news from others and you were angry for it am sorry. I do not know what is the biggest blunders that i have done for which you are being a bad person for me. A, sorry for being still lost in your memories. I tried my best but i couldn’t for i know only to create memories and not destroy it. I have seen the best and worst of you. Why is it that you are not able to see the good in me and only judge me based on someone else’s view point. Am sorry but you are wrong to judge me based on others inputs for you know me betters than those no good doers. You know the path i been through of which they do not have the slightest idea about. Am sorry that i speak bout you with my closed one its with a hope that at least one of them might tell you how much i miss you .

Am sorry that you believe the world more than you believe me. I am sorry for the times i made you cry sorry for the times i was late sorry for the times which ever you feel i was wrong for i have tried to think over it again and again. I am no saint but same time am i no devil that you have currently portrayed me in your mind.

Am sorry that i was being honest with you am sorry that i was being loyal and true for now i learnt that the world runs on the rule of hypocrisy and falseness.. Am sorry i cannot be as such, for it is not in my blood and my principles for i believe in death before dishonor.

You may ponder why am i asking sorry on a web stage, well let the world know am wrong, for you trust the world more than you trust me. Hope someone reads this out to you and hope you think in an open mind and not from any bad perspective. And yes it is directed to that one person whom i speak of every now and then so friends and foes that person is right about me am wrong and am sorry ……… AM really sorry for i still remember you and wish i could change everything that happened given a chance… Forever 

This is for the one person if anyone reads kindly pass it on for i am restricted to talk to that person

Cheers to life

Airboy89

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The Lonely roads

There was a time, when every road was scouted and traveled even the once less traveled. No matter the distance, the conditions it was a jolly good time. Then things turned out to different in matter of time. The roads which was once cherished has become a reason of torture and nightmares.

In a twist of tales, the one’s whom we adored and the one’s  “who were the reason for our smile have currently become the reason for sadness.

Speaking in general about the irony of life, it is a twisted story of happiness, sadness, anger etc etc..

Just wanted to elaborate a simple point for which am for some reason not getting the right words. So here it goes just jotting down what ever flashes my mind

There was a time in life were we smiled, laughed, had fun with someone it may be anyone; parents, grandparents, your better half. So when we spend time with them we are creating memories without thinking twice about the future as to what will do if one day we are all left all alone without that person.

Funny i should say ,at that instant we do not care for the outcome or consequences for we cherish that moment. The whole concept for memory seems like a trap for better or worst i feel. Judging by recent few personal experiences i dare say it can break you real bad.  So here is a small poem the lonely road. Sorry the lengthy preface.

The lonely roads, on which we once walked with pride, shouts out to me saying hey oldie

For it has seem me with and without you, we scouted the lengths and breadths of it at one point of time.

The road which once filled me with joy, fills me with tears now for you are not there to walk along with me.

The trees bow down without being able to look at my face for it knows it gave us shade on a sunny day.

The butterfly tries to hide away for it knows we played with once.

The crowd seems all busy i seem to be alone in the crowd, for its the lonely road in my mind.

The sky seems to help me cope up with the situation by crying along with me for your absence.

I spoke to the rocks, the soils asking them had they seen you come long,

They all said to me do not try to find the path which you once walked

For now its been ages and the footsteps which you both landed on the ground has been washed away.

When i tell them it seems like yesterday, they all say its always the same my friend since the footprints has not been washed away from your heart.

The rocks told me,’come my friend; turn like me and you shall never know what pain is ‘

I thought may be they are right, but then the butterfly told me come on do u want to hurt that one person whom you walked with when she comes along this path someday or would you like to bring a smile.

I said smile of course, so thus butterfly told then become like the tree, for when its sunny or rainy it gives cover and brings a relief to the ones effected.

And when it gets old it shall be get chopped down and provided warmth during winter.

Only then i realized that the lonely road  can bring tears of joy also.

The lonely road where i once traveled with a great companion.

Cheers to life

Airboy89

Forever is an lie…..

“karmany evadhikaras te
ma phalesu kadachana
ma karma-phala-hetur bhur
ma te sango ’stv akarmani” (Bhagwat Gita: Chapter Two verse 47)

Meaning “You have the right to perform your prescribed duty, but you  are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the  cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not  doing your duty.”

It is one of my favorite quote from The Bhagavad gita.

Some where down the line i feel it is applicable to relationship as well, huh funny right some of us put in everything we got into a relationship with some bit of expectation. And we end in a delusion that it is gonna last forever. Yet most of the time we end with heart aches and breakdowns. Well i think the above quote is best suited for such situations.

We have the right to shower all our love, trust and affection into a person but we have no right to expect something in return cause if we are doing with expectation it becomes a  trade or a bargain of some sort rather than a emotion. So lets sink in for a moment the fact that forever is a lie. Where is it connected you ask , well ok i think most of us might have thought that the relation shall last forever.

the best way to not to get hurt is to act as if you have no freaking heart. You may end up having less people around but surely it will save a lot of pain.

The main problem with the heart is it thinks everything is forever even when deep down inside we all that it is not. But the problem is there it is when we are down and we think that the love the care the help we showed to few will earn us back the right to get the same treatment from them, yes few may give but the fuck up is when we do not get it from the one we believed wouldn’t give up on us.

The fact is simple nothing lasts forever expect change not love not friendship nor our sorrows nor the sadness.

Change, people that’s the only thing that is forever…

Cheers to life

Airboy89

Mummy ……

The most peaceful place in the world is said to be a mothers lap. It can sooth one to sleep whilst any tension. It can bring a smile even when its hard to look up.
A mother knows it all mo matter how old we get to a mother we still are her babies.
Funny is it not we may be no matter how old we get no matter how far we get from her but when in pain we cry out sayin mummy.
Mummy, amma, mai, different language but one emotion. She is the one whom we can back on. She sees us growing up n gettin far yet she still finds happiness in our success whether we remember her or not. She silently prays for us no matter what. She still will stay up waiting for us to reach home n serve food. She is ready to eat leftover’s but will serve fresh food to us.
No matter how far we go when we sad she will always be there
Life sometimes gets so rough that one asks , mummy can i go back onto your womb cause a mother will go to any extent to protect her child.
Mothers love is unconditionally divine, we may leave her hand but she shall always stand behind us

Mummy miss u 😩

Cheers to life

AIRBOY89

The unsent letters…..#2

Dear past, this is regarding the times i felt it was too good to be true situation.
When i sit beside you watchin the sunset at the beach, the wind blowing n making your hair flutter like the wings of the butterfly and you slowly set it back smiling gracefully and i just think is it really me who is sittin beside you, it makes me feel insecure thinking that damn will i really get to marry this angel.
Huh when i ask you the same you say yes but trust me inside my heart the insecurity is at its peak.
Everyone says that how in the world did a easy going guy like you end up with such a pretty gal like you, and i jus say i feel in love with the person and not the beauty.
Is it too good to be true, huh i never knew i would get to spend time with such a wonderful person. Your smile makes me forget all that am worried bout, its gives me faith hope and strength. Its not too much to tell but you are my strength my weakness for you are my everything. Touch wood its going on well till date hope it remains so forever😃 cause my smile is dependent on your smile and your company😄
The world may deprive me of anything but i wont let it tke away you from me.
The silent waves of ocean the wind the people the sky the world altogether i forget when am beside you and make me think . Dear god is it too good to be true

Cheers to life

Airboy89

The unsent letters….#1

My dear past,These are the few things which i wanted to tell but couldn’t. Even though now its too late here is a try ….

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The sun has set and the moon has risen with  family of stars illuminating the sky just like how your eyes brighten my day.The birds has flocked towards there nest and here i am awaiting for you.

The sunset always reminds me of you no matter how busy i might be. The silent waves of the oceans tells me how my mind is waiting to see you shine high in the sky That is my dream to see you shine as i reflect your success as a reflection and be satisfied with it cause am the ocean i get nasty at times and swallow down the biggest of matter and you are the  moon who controls my low and high tides of life See how we are matching with each other, But the sad part is i can see you only from afar as i cannot reach the sky where you shine i try to hit high waves still i cannot reach if i try more i might end up hurting the ones on my shore but yes that does not stop me from dreaming of you.

I know you are the single entity for this world and yet you have so many stars beside you and yes it scares me that one day some star may take you away from me. But thats ok cause i am just an ocean who is rough and unpredictable and filled with anger and frustrations where as you are the the queen of calmness. But you should know that you have the power to calm me or anger me whether you like it or not. You are white as milk and blue as a blue berry. i am vast yet no one likes me, you are so small yet everyone likes you from a newborn baby to a old person .

despite all the insecurities if you look inside me you will find the lost treasures of the world. Which only few have gotten hold off.  I look forward to seeing you everyday every min every sec. I have not seen you dark side but still i do not care for i see only the shiny nature in you and not the imperfections. I am ready to evaporate my self and become a cloud and revolve around you every day and protect you and cover you when ever you want me too. I can become thin air if it means i can get to be with you.

I am ready to become the hawk and fly every night just to get a glimpse of you. I am ready to be the dying star so that i can shoot infront of u and get a closer look at you. I am ready to the cool breeze so that i can coll you when you are angry. All these are my thoughts from heart and not the mind so theortically it  may or may not make sense so don read it from the head read it from your heart and may be then you will get to know how deep it is as the depths of the oceans, as rich as the unexplored treasures if the ocean.

you are the  moon and i am the werewolf who awaits your light to bring out the real me.

You are the moon and i am the waves of ocean who touches the land because of you.

You are the moon and i am the ocean who shines at nit because of your reflection.

You are the moon and i am the cloud tryin to touch you.

You are the moon and i am the heartless monster looking for redemption in your moonlight.

You are the moon and i am a normal person looking for happiness just by lookin at you afar……..

you are the moon even everyone see’s you for me you are mine forever even if you are with thousands of stars around you.

You are the moon and you are the reason for my smile even at the darkest hours of my life..some day will be together like the eclipse day.

Cheers to life

Airboy89