The little dream

As the weekend inches by, sitting beside the window seat at work seeing the cars rush towards their destination to avoid the weekend rush. A sudden thought strikes like a lightening and brings back an old memory, once a dream and still remains the same.

 

She strikes again, her voice echoes inside the head silently like a feeble haunting voice, give a sudden jerk and a ache to the heart, as i try to snap out of it she already made contact with my heart and could feel the ache slowing raising and the eyes getting ready to get moist.

But unable to shed that tear the fist just goes to get in contact with a wall with a force, people around think that some one client or manager must have spoilt my evening.

What do they know no amount of work pressure can break me for it is the same work pressure which keeps me occupied from thinking of my lost angel.

Days, months and years have passed without her but not a day gone by without she passing my mind.

Why is it that the heart longs for the one who broke it in the first place. Why does the the heart not apply the logic which the mind is good at when it comes to all the other things and people in the world. Why  is that common sense takes a hind seat when it is about her. Is it stupidity or is it insanity or is it weakness, call what you may, but it exists just as there exists the sun the moon.

Some people over come it some people hide it. Everytime the promises i made reminds me how much i loved her and how much more i would give. But now all of it is just a dream cause all that love that affection is stacked up within rotting inside waiting for a miracle every dream which comes of her gives the chills beyond comprehension.

She is now like the dodo bird in life she existed once but now extinct or may be evolved and not in my life and in a different universe. But this heart its not ready to forget you and gives the shocker no matter awake or asleep.

She was a dream then and even now she remains but what happened inbetween the mind tries to figure out if it was a illusion or was it real, but in vain cause it usually ends with a mental breakdown and a anger towards oneself, for the reason for her departure away from me is unknown and till date the hunt is on to find one solid reason to finally let it go or may be thats also a little dream…..

Just remembered you again as always and you grow stronger  inside everyday… where ever you are with whom ever you are just know that you are still remembered by me everyday …. stupid

 

Cheers to life

Airboy89

 

 

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Short post 15

Redemption and suffering both is within us. It’s just upon the heart to let the mind chose

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The truth sets you free, when the one who needs the truth accepts the truth

otherwise it shall only be a taunting little memory etched in the head.

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There is no shame in accepting that one is flawed,

shame is when you know you are flawed and yet hide it behind

words and illusion.

 

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only you can live your life not anyone else

so why stress about what others think for

you shall and will be your own guardian

 

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Beyond the boundaries of societies beyond the realm of limitations

lies humanity sober, clean and guarded by conscience which is

pure as the smile of infant.

 

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Amidst the darkness lies a calmness, a solitude , a calling

which only the broken can see and bear

for not all heroes are born to save the world wearing cape

some are heroes save the world just by taming the devil

inside of them, in the darkness

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When u spot the smile in the ally of memories

when you see the tears in the corners of the mind palace

just remember that both happiness and sadness are illusions

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One does not a god for saving, what one needs is confidence upon oneself

for victory favors the brave, and the brave have trust upon themselves

and not any invisible entity

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Everyday can be a battle when you come back from a war,

for war exposes you to certain treacherous phases

that it can create havoc in the mind and can errupt

anytime, not all wars are fought between countries

few war are fought between reality and illusion

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The Tantrum

Ignorance is a bliss for those;

who do not have to deal with the consequence .

For what can be the consequence for the ignorance ?

Is it downfall, is it a heartache or is it a forever etched in

the dusty chambers of the soul.

Or is it just a blissful state of mind where

the present is unaffected by the past.

Is it the confusion that circles around like

soul vultures in the darkness of the night.

can it be the conscience trying to show

a pit which is smaller yet showcasing it

as a deep hell hole.

It is different things to different people.

For some life is a camera so they keep smiling forever,

for few it is a battle field they fight with aggression.

It is all but a beautiful melodrama

consistent and evident wrapped gracefully

with one thing “perception”.

 

Airboy89

 

 

 

 

 

In the dark nights…

It’s in the darkness of the night,

My demons come out to play.

They sing a song of death

Yet not kill ,

It’s sings the story of the by gone days.

It’s makes me shed the tears

Which I promised never to shed.

It reminds me of the times we spent together

And pushes me to go in search of you.

It’s show the images of our vivid moments

And taunts that you were never mine to begin with.

It tells me dance to its song 

Till I shut them up they sing the 

Lines of the empty promises you made,

They chant the I Love You in your voice.

They haunt me, taunt me and say

That you brought them inside me.

I fight to prove them wrong 

Till I slither away to sleep.

And the demons says another day we shall fight it in the dark nights……

It shall all pass…

Sometimes I wish could freeze
time, so I could relive

the moment you lied to me

that you love me.

for the moment is still etched

in my heart and mind

replaying at the depths of my soul in the dark nights

and the brightest day, in the busiest instant of time

to the time I am free as a hawk in the sky.

Wishing and trying to figure out

what made you go rogue on our love

and kill it in the most gruesomest

way possible, damaging me to an extent

that even my best friend could repair,

nor could the hundreds of God could

give redemption from.

In the corners of the road, amongst the thousands

my eyes still searches for you in the real

world as well as the virtual world.

Hoping and dreaming just for a glance

of your beautiful smile

which once brought me to my knees.

Every day I decide to let go, but letting go itself lets go

of my decision.

You were always the damsel who made

me put on my best battle suit to fight on.

And till today I do fight, before it was to win you

now to let you go.

Your love was all that kept me humble and kind

and till date it sure does.

For whenever there is a happy moment it makes

Me doubt the instance .

You were the flower that bloomed

In my desert heart.

Unknowingly things went haywire

Paradise was just burnt to the ground

And u danced amidst the ashes.

The artistic approach to literature

Turned into a monologue of trying

To forget and forgive you.

For you see; words merely try to speak

Out my heart n soul.

You were the chaos I was once

Happy to be with now

All am left with is just the chaos

Which you left me with.

How do I tell that

You still cross my mind

That i still to long to hold your

Hands n walk through rest of

Our life.

You are there yet not there

So is the void that runs in my life

Without you.

May be one day you will come back

Or may be i shall forget you forever.

Either of which am unsure.

But maybe one day……..

It shall all pass.
Cheers to life

Airboy89
 

 

Dancing with darkness

As the stage was set with

a million light and one spot light

the heart started its walk towards

the locked doors of the past and knocks;

the mind begs for mercy not to

open the door, the soul laughs at both.

In the end the heart won and the door opens

the walk turns into a ballad between

reality and dreams.

The eyes sprinkles water on the occasion,

the souls gives a shout out so

loud that all go deaf expect oneself..

Darkness looks so pretty amidst all this

chaos.

There is just rage warming the cold heart.

There is guilt, there is pain

there is countless prayers to the unseen.

And then comes out the devil

calling out for a dance.

As the soul lends out the hand,

both dance in the darkness

shouldering one and another.

There was no harm from darkness

as society warned, the perception

towards darkness changed the day

light gave up on him

and darkness was the only ally who stood by.

alcohol is the drink which can

partly drench his thirst and sooth .

Her smile though was more intoxicating than alcohol itself,

so strong that even years after she left

it was still etched in his heart and soul till date.

Every tear that is shed out

is in remembrance of the time spent together

it is the only thing left in life for she was no longer there.

trying to find her amidst every crowd,

created anxiety and thus he secluded himself

from society.

Trying to find her knowing it will

hurt him, all he wanted was to just see her

from distance at least, cause all he wanted

was to know if she is doing well

cause she was the princess he once fought battles along side with.

She was a majestic being

she was humble at one point in life

and all that was etched onto his soul

that what ever was the betrayal he encountered

from her was perceived as  an act of necessity.

There he stood dancing with the darkness

as all these thoughts haunting inside and outside

was that smile and careless outlook

as if nothing really happened to the bruised soul

Cheers to life

Airboy89

 

 

adrift with thoughts

Adrift

Adrift in the universe

we all reach our destination

some reach early

some reach late

for it’s all about the journey

we start off with no words

we slog speaking about reaching

then again when we attain silence

we reach there

and then finally

attain complete silence

with no return.

Adrift in thoughts

adrift in actions

adrift in the every existence

but what intrigues are the ones

who know they are adrift

and yet stay calm in that chaos

and master the art of being

at absolute peace

even when the noise inside is

greater than the one outside….

there is no shame

in being lost

for we all are lost

few lost in themselves

few lost on others

few lost on the thought of being lost.

but blessed are the ones

who find a track in the trackless road..

For chaos is not always chaotic.

 

Cheers to life

Airboy89