When i was a mess

When I was a Mess, you were there

helping me clean up those mess.

When my demons started comin out

you were there to leash them

and keep me sane.

Dont get me wrong

i was all capable to tame those demons but

the way you did I wouldnt master.

But back then i was  a mess…..

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A mother and the world

She carried us for 9 months in her tummy

protecting us from the all the badness of the world

till we could see and hear.

Then finally one day she lets us come out to the world

bearing the pain shedding blood sweat and tears

only so that we can see the world.

She is The Mother, a being who lives

strives for her kids.

Then as we grow up we drift away in the name

of growing up,

yet to that iron lady we still are kids

whom she still feels need her protection

we fight sometimes to drift away

still that heart beats for us.

She still worries if her kid ate well, slept well

She calls a thousand times to ask how

we are, we ignore in the name of being busy in meeting,

making a life, but are we truly making a life.

What is the point of life when  money cannot buy that

warmth of love of a mother.

What is the point of living thousands of miles away

if you cannot make your mother happy.

Is it worth it ! in a materialistic world

we say it is the core essence.

But where have we reached with this

we lose what is dear to us in the name of

“making a living”.

Because for a mother, her children are the world.

 

Short post 15

Redemption and suffering both is within us. It’s just upon the heart to let the mind chose

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The truth sets you free, when the one who needs the truth accepts the truth

otherwise it shall only be a taunting little memory etched in the head.

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There is no shame in accepting that one is flawed,

shame is when you know you are flawed and yet hide it behind

words and illusion.

 

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only you can live your life not anyone else

so why stress about what others think for

you shall and will be your own guardian

 

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Beyond the boundaries of societies beyond the realm of limitations

lies humanity sober, clean and guarded by conscience which is

pure as the smile of infant.

 

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Amidst the darkness lies a calmness, a solitude , a calling

which only the broken can see and bear

for not all heroes are born to save the world wearing cape

some are heroes save the world just by taming the devil

inside of them, in the darkness

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When u spot the smile in the ally of memories

when you see the tears in the corners of the mind palace

just remember that both happiness and sadness are illusions

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One does not a god for saving, what one needs is confidence upon oneself

for victory favors the brave, and the brave have trust upon themselves

and not any invisible entity

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Everyday can be a battle when you come back from a war,

for war exposes you to certain treacherous phases

that it can create havoc in the mind and can errupt

anytime, not all wars are fought between countries

few war are fought between reality and illusion

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The Tantrum

Ignorance is a bliss for those;

who do not have to deal with the consequence .

For what can be the consequence for the ignorance ?

Is it downfall, is it a heartache or is it a forever etched in

the dusty chambers of the soul.

Or is it just a blissful state of mind where

the present is unaffected by the past.

Is it the confusion that circles around like

soul vultures in the darkness of the night.

can it be the conscience trying to show

a pit which is smaller yet showcasing it

as a deep hell hole.

It is different things to different people.

For some life is a camera so they keep smiling forever,

for few it is a battle field they fight with aggression.

It is all but a beautiful melodrama

consistent and evident wrapped gracefully

with one thing “perception”.

 

Airboy89

 

 

 

 

 

It shall all pass…

Sometimes I wish could freeze
time, so I could relive

the moment you lied to me

that you love me.

for the moment is still etched

in my heart and mind

replaying at the depths of my soul in the dark nights

and the brightest day, in the busiest instant of time

to the time I am free as a hawk in the sky.

Wishing and trying to figure out

what made you go rogue on our love

and kill it in the most gruesomest

way possible, damaging me to an extent

that even my best friend could repair,

nor could the hundreds of God could

give redemption from.

In the corners of the road, amongst the thousands

my eyes still searches for you in the real

world as well as the virtual world.

Hoping and dreaming just for a glance

of your beautiful smile

which once brought me to my knees.

Every day I decide to let go, but letting go itself lets go

of my decision.

You were always the damsel who made

me put on my best battle suit to fight on.

And till today I do fight, before it was to win you

now to let you go.

Your love was all that kept me humble and kind

and till date it sure does.

For whenever there is a happy moment it makes

Me doubt the instance .

You were the flower that bloomed

In my desert heart.

Unknowingly things went haywire

Paradise was just burnt to the ground

And u danced amidst the ashes.

The artistic approach to literature

Turned into a monologue of trying

To forget and forgive you.

For you see; words merely try to speak

Out my heart n soul.

You were the chaos I was once

Happy to be with now

All am left with is just the chaos

Which you left me with.

How do I tell that

You still cross my mind

That i still to long to hold your

Hands n walk through rest of

Our life.

You are there yet not there

So is the void that runs in my life

Without you.

May be one day you will come back

Or may be i shall forget you forever.

Either of which am unsure.

But maybe one day……..

It shall all pass.
Cheers to life

Airboy89
 

 

The walk

There is just silence in the lips

that you once touched

when it spoke of dying.

There is just a mess in the head

which was once filled thoughts of you and me.

The long walks are just no longer

reviving, the water touching the feet at the beach

no longer is funny.

You still reside inside me as a part of me

as a memory etched on the wall of

my soul.

there is darkness, there is a shield which blocks

all the light for you are the only

light my soul awaits for.

There is anger, which just built year on year

cause of your absence to cool  off

the fire inside me.

The body is alive but the soul is as dead as is

the heart which once was filled with joy.

There is no one to wipe those shiny droplets of

tears which fall off at the dark nights when

the silence just takes me back to

the land where we once walked majestically

dramatically.

Days are drama show, hiding the pain the anger,

night is the matinee show where there is just silence and tears.

I breathe not cause I want to its just cause I have to,

for maybe one day all this pain

shall reap its result, that is you.

I do not miss you,

For you are always there,

In the corners of my heart and soul.

You have touched the depths of my dark soul

you made me flourish as a warrior

You taught the best war lessons,

for I still, fight myself trying not to run

into the prison of agony where you let go of me

All this just comes to my mind as I take

The Walk….

 

Footstep

As the sound of footsteps

were no longer heard,

the giggles vanished

the cute shouting

went numb.

The ride along the

road turned into

a lonely trip.

She was there same time not there.

She became Schrödinger’s cat

live example.

She took it all away

the smile, the happiness,

the very essence that

kept him alive.

She thought of it as a Yiddish

act what she did.

But she did not know

that, that was what

he liked it in her

cause she made him feel like

a kid without being ashamed of it.

She outgrew it while he was

dragged into that state of innocence.

Hands were clapped together to

every imaginary being

for mercy for a miracle.

The hands which never knelt before anyone

came down n fell onto her

feet. But

he was immature for her now…

He cried a river and oceans for her

but she had built a dam

to obstruct those from reaching her.

The soul which was once alive

died, it died a death that it

wished not even

worst of his enemies should get.

Silent cry for peace was witnessed by the 4 walls

and the darkness of his room.

Madness was the only way out.

From a one faced man,

he turned himself into a two-faced person.

A smiling Buddha in the morning

and a fire-breathing dragon at night.

Death was the only wish he wished upon

the shooting stars.

his heart ached for the pieces of memories,

the arms longed for that last hug

cheeks wished for that one small kiss

heart prayed for that warmth she bestowed upon him.

From a depend less

person he had become

a dependent of a soul who left him in

the pit of fire.

Pages of poems, heaps of unsaid words

in form of letters all just to himself

meant for her.

For fate, life, destiny all

played one of the most cruelest joke

from transforming a beast into a

human and later let him rot in

the agony of memories.

Heart was broken, mind was

shattered, soul damaged.

He lost himself, searching for her.

In the streets, in the buses in the trains,

in the garden, all but in vain

for it was all gone she

was in the arms of another man.

All he could do was ponder as to

what he did wrong,

what was it that he fell short of.

As he heard her name his eyes

would glow with a hope that she is

around.

He would search the crowd with

a hope that she may be around

only to realize she is present in his

heart and soul.

Anger and sadness walked inside

while smile danced outside.

People disturbed his soul,

whilst solitude rejuvenated.

All that was left was memoirs of the

glory past where she walked beside him

now all that was left was a damaged armor

with a sword on his back

passing through the heart

as a mark of the LOVE that

once tamed the savage beast.

Words wanted to come out

but couldn’t speak out

for the senses also cheated .

Hope was lost, dreams were crushed.

Happiness was destroyed.

A mini-universe within

collapsed onto destruction.

All the alcohol in the world

all the smiles in the universe

could not relieve him

of the fire burning inside..

The flame burns till now

hoping for her return

destroying him inch by inch.

Somedays he wants to destroy

the world

somedays he just wants to see the world

burn down by itself.

Somedays he wants to hunt down the wolves

somedays he becomes the wolf.

Some days he is at a paradox with himself

and some days he is at peace.

And that my friend is the reality

the bruises that love leaves behind

when love leaves………

That is the state of the heartbroken

who fight the demons which they

help create…

pain is a daily

routine when one tries

to express in words they just go

numb…. for some pain

are felt and not expressed

for some emotions are cruel

beyond …