When i was a mess

When I was a Mess, you were there

helping me clean up those mess.

When my demons started comin out

you were there to leash them

and keep me sane.

Dont get me wrong

i was all capable to tame those demons but

the way you did I wouldnt master.

But back then i was  a mess…..

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It shall all pass…

Sometimes I wish could freeze
time, so I could relive

the moment you lied to me

that you love me.

for the moment is still etched

in my heart and mind

replaying at the depths of my soul in the dark nights

and the brightest day, in the busiest instant of time

to the time I am free as a hawk in the sky.

Wishing and trying to figure out

what made you go rogue on our love

and kill it in the most gruesomest

way possible, damaging me to an extent

that even my best friend could repair,

nor could the hundreds of God could

give redemption from.

In the corners of the road, amongst the thousands

my eyes still searches for you in the real

world as well as the virtual world.

Hoping and dreaming just for a glance

of your beautiful smile

which once brought me to my knees.

Every day I decide to let go, but letting go itself lets go

of my decision.

You were always the damsel who made

me put on my best battle suit to fight on.

And till today I do fight, before it was to win you

now to let you go.

Your love was all that kept me humble and kind

and till date it sure does.

For whenever there is a happy moment it makes

Me doubt the instance .

You were the flower that bloomed

In my desert heart.

Unknowingly things went haywire

Paradise was just burnt to the ground

And u danced amidst the ashes.

The artistic approach to literature

Turned into a monologue of trying

To forget and forgive you.

For you see; words merely try to speak

Out my heart n soul.

You were the chaos I was once

Happy to be with now

All am left with is just the chaos

Which you left me with.

How do I tell that

You still cross my mind

That i still to long to hold your

Hands n walk through rest of

Our life.

You are there yet not there

So is the void that runs in my life

Without you.

May be one day you will come back

Or may be i shall forget you forever.

Either of which am unsure.

But maybe one day……..

It shall all pass.
Cheers to life

Airboy89
 

 

adrift with thoughts

Adrift

Adrift in the universe

we all reach our destination

some reach early

some reach late

for it’s all about the journey

we start off with no words

we slog speaking about reaching

then again when we attain silence

we reach there

and then finally

attain complete silence

with no return.

Adrift in thoughts

adrift in actions

adrift in the every existence

but what intrigues are the ones

who know they are adrift

and yet stay calm in that chaos

and master the art of being

at absolute peace

even when the noise inside is

greater than the one outside….

there is no shame

in being lost

for we all are lost

few lost in themselves

few lost on others

few lost on the thought of being lost.

but blessed are the ones

who find a track in the trackless road..

For chaos is not always chaotic.

 

Cheers to life

Airboy89

 

the state of uncertainity

How it feels to be broken

is a question not

even the broken cant  explain

it is a state of uncertainty

where the perfect flowers

also seems mocking

It is a phase where even a

bright daylight seems to be

burning you

to ashes.

It is where even happiness

seems some sarcastic joke

by life

It is a phase where the

mind goes for a stroll

imagining the unimaginable.

It is a stage in life

where pain is just a word

cause the emotion is

indescribable,

but then it is just a phase

few pass it few hide it

few just stop it

by giving into it.

All in all

it is a lesson in life which everyone

learns in their life at a certain

extent

….

Cheers to life

Airbiy89

Staring into the Abyss

There was a part of life

where everything seemed

as a happy fairy tale

there was a pinch of sadness,

anger, love, care and everything

nice.

But along the way

the story got a twist,

the whole world

turned upside down

the once presumed miracle

turned out to be a curse.

The smile from the heart

turned into a masquerade

of happiness.

The cry for all of it to end

was in vain

for life had its own plan

not for the betterment

but for the torment.

Memories were not cherished

rather served as a needle

to poke the wound.

Positivism of life

suddenly turned into

an never ending black hole.

The paper also couldn’t

absorb the  enormous

load of pain.

Loads of paper, bottles of ink,

glasses of alcohol, river of tears

nothing could take away

what was snatched away

from life…

All that was left

was just stare into the

abyss awaiting for all of it

to end scared to jump

worried to stand

just stare into the abyss……

 

Cheers to life

Airboy89

The last poem I will write for you..! Probably

IMG_6167.JPG
Oh beautiful ! You were the brightest star in
the dark sky called life,
Let me for once shed out the pain; fully
I had been a fool to believe that forever meant an eternity.
but same time i realized forever does exists but in pain.
baby remember those escapades
those mini trips out of town
just to escape the eyes of society.
Oh baby those kisses those
promises, those mini date,
those days of struggle do you remember
for we had to hide for religion was the culprit
Baby do you remember those fights
where we fought like bunch of kids
yet made up after a while
Do you remember the tears we shed
when we were hurt by each others action.
Darling do you remember how we visited
temples, churches and prayed that
our parents agree for our wedding.
baby remember those days when we had no money
yet we lived like royals in each others company
remember those struggles.
remember the times you stood by me
and said until death do us apart we shall
be together.
remember the times we spent hours together
holding each others hand and getting lost
in our own world
talking gibberish letting imagination run wild.
Remember those funny days when we planned
who will be our daughters protector.
How shall i tell the things that i remember for
you have forgotten my existence.
How shall i express my sadness when words merely
touch the top layer of it all.
How shall i tell you that
every night is a battle of mind and heart.
How shall i tell you that i cannot be normal ever again.
How do I tell you i can never go back home
for your memories haunt me in those roads, those parks,
those hills those rivers. How shall i explain
you that i still haven’t moved on.
munchkin how do i tell you ,
how i miss you everyday,
how shall i tell you that i forgive you,
How do i plead with you to come back.
How do i tell you my soul
is empty without you.
Darling how do i forget you when
everything i do reminds me of you.
When the river of alcohol also
does not help.
How do i tell you I miss you
how do i show you my life’s incompleteness
How do i tell you i am a changed person now.
How do i tell you that Hope left me, how do i tell you
faith kicked me, how do i tell you
that memories is all that is with me
How do  i tell that I no longer have the strength
to smile, how do i beg, how do i plead, how do i pray
for your return baby.
How do i tell myself that i need to forget you.
How, how baby how, When i still love you
How do i forget you  when all i ever want is
to be with you..
How do i tell you that this is
the last poem I will write for you..!
Probably!
Cheers to life
AIRBOY89

Pensive about the one who is still remembered everyday

Shelved Demons

Shelf

 

true_self_quote

She took the ashes of the book

which she burnt and shelved it

for she thought history is something forgotten.

He was fighting the demon

day in and out. He did not want to shelf it

he wanted to kill it

and make sure they shall never raise.

As the battle went fierce, he came across her

he was astonished seeing the shelved demon ashes.

He wanted to ask how she destroyed them,

but he didn’t want his battle be publicized

so he stood still.

As he was seeing the ashes she was shocked

to see him finding those ashes.

He was ready to put aside his sword

and obtain peace ,for she calmed his

raging mind and heart.

His anger was disfigured and vanished into thin air

in her presence.

For her presence brought peace.

But his demons were knocking the door

he locked the door.

but she only heard the voices of his demons

and not his own.

thus love was lost for both….

Cause one had shelved the demon and the other had shelved the sword…..

 

Image source  – google

 

cheers to Life

Airboy89