It shall all pass…

Sometimes I wish could freeze
time, so I could relive

the moment you lied to me

that you love me.

for the moment is still etched

in my heart and mind

replaying at the depths of my soul in the dark nights

and the brightest day, in the busiest instant of time

to the time I am free as a hawk in the sky.

Wishing and trying to figure out

what made you go rogue on our love

and kill it in the most gruesomest

way possible, damaging me to an extent

that even my best friend could repair,

nor could the hundreds of God could

give redemption from.

In the corners of the road, amongst the thousands

my eyes still searches for you in the real

world as well as the virtual world.

Hoping and dreaming just for a glance

of your beautiful smile

which once brought me to my knees.

Every day I decide to let go, but letting go itself lets go

of my decision.

You were always the damsel who made

me put on my best battle suit to fight on.

And till today I do fight, before it was to win you

now to let you go.

Your love was all that kept me humble and kind

and till date it sure does.

For whenever there is a happy moment it makes

Me doubt the instance .

You were the flower that bloomed

In my desert heart.

Unknowingly things went haywire

Paradise was just burnt to the ground

And u danced amidst the ashes.

The artistic approach to literature

Turned into a monologue of trying

To forget and forgive you.

For you see; words merely try to speak

Out my heart n soul.

You were the chaos I was once

Happy to be with now

All am left with is just the chaos

Which you left me with.

How do I tell that

You still cross my mind

That i still to long to hold your

Hands n walk through rest of

Our life.

You are there yet not there

So is the void that runs in my life

Without you.

May be one day you will come back

Or may be i shall forget you forever.

Either of which am unsure.

But maybe one day……..

It shall all pass.
Cheers to life

Airboy89
 

 

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adrift with thoughts

Adrift

Adrift in the universe

we all reach our destination

some reach early

some reach late

for it’s all about the journey

we start off with no words

we slog speaking about reaching

then again when we attain silence

we reach there

and then finally

attain complete silence

with no return.

Adrift in thoughts

adrift in actions

adrift in the every existence

but what intrigues are the ones

who know they are adrift

and yet stay calm in that chaos

and master the art of being

at absolute peace

even when the noise inside is

greater than the one outside….

there is no shame

in being lost

for we all are lost

few lost in themselves

few lost on others

few lost on the thought of being lost.

but blessed are the ones

who find a track in the trackless road..

For chaos is not always chaotic.

 

Cheers to life

Airboy89

 

The walk

There is just silence in the lips

that you once touched

when it spoke of dying.

There is just a mess in the head

which was once filled thoughts of you and me.

The long walks are just no longer

reviving, the water touching the feet at the beach

no longer is funny.

You still reside inside me as a part of me

as a memory etched on the wall of

my soul.

there is darkness, there is a shield which blocks

all the light for you are the only

light my soul awaits for.

There is anger, which just built year on year

cause of your absence to cool  off

the fire inside me.

The body is alive but the soul is as dead as is

the heart which once was filled with joy.

There is no one to wipe those shiny droplets of

tears which fall off at the dark nights when

the silence just takes me back to

the land where we once walked majestically

dramatically.

Days are drama show, hiding the pain the anger,

night is the matinee show where there is just silence and tears.

I breathe not cause I want to its just cause I have to,

for maybe one day all this pain

shall reap its result, that is you.

I do not miss you,

For you are always there,

In the corners of my heart and soul.

You have touched the depths of my dark soul

you made me flourish as a warrior

You taught the best war lessons,

for I still, fight myself trying not to run

into the prison of agony where you let go of me

All this just comes to my mind as I take

The Walk….

 

the state of uncertainity

How it feels to be broken

is a question not

even the broken cant  explain

it is a state of uncertainty

where the perfect flowers

also seems mocking

It is a phase where even a

bright daylight seems to be

burning you

to ashes.

It is where even happiness

seems some sarcastic joke

by life

It is a phase where the

mind goes for a stroll

imagining the unimaginable.

It is a stage in life

where pain is just a word

cause the emotion is

indescribable,

but then it is just a phase

few pass it few hide it

few just stop it

by giving into it.

All in all

it is a lesson in life which everyone

learns in their life at a certain

extent

….

Cheers to life

Airbiy89

Footstep

As the sound of footsteps

were no longer heard,

the giggles vanished

the cute shouting

went numb.

The ride along the

road turned into

a lonely trip.

She was there same time not there.

She became Schrödinger’s cat

live example.

She took it all away

the smile, the happiness,

the very essence that

kept him alive.

She thought of it as a Yiddish

act what she did.

But she did not know

that, that was what

he liked it in her

cause she made him feel like

a kid without being ashamed of it.

She outgrew it while he was

dragged into that state of innocence.

Hands were clapped together to

every imaginary being

for mercy for a miracle.

The hands which never knelt before anyone

came down n fell onto her

feet. But

he was immature for her now…

He cried a river and oceans for her

but she had built a dam

to obstruct those from reaching her.

The soul which was once alive

died, it died a death that it

wished not even

worst of his enemies should get.

Silent cry for peace was witnessed by the 4 walls

and the darkness of his room.

Madness was the only way out.

From a one faced man,

he turned himself into a two-faced person.

A smiling Buddha in the morning

and a fire-breathing dragon at night.

Death was the only wish he wished upon

the shooting stars.

his heart ached for the pieces of memories,

the arms longed for that last hug

cheeks wished for that one small kiss

heart prayed for that warmth she bestowed upon him.

From a depend less

person he had become

a dependent of a soul who left him in

the pit of fire.

Pages of poems, heaps of unsaid words

in form of letters all just to himself

meant for her.

For fate, life, destiny all

played one of the most cruelest joke

from transforming a beast into a

human and later let him rot in

the agony of memories.

Heart was broken, mind was

shattered, soul damaged.

He lost himself, searching for her.

In the streets, in the buses in the trains,

in the garden, all but in vain

for it was all gone she

was in the arms of another man.

All he could do was ponder as to

what he did wrong,

what was it that he fell short of.

As he heard her name his eyes

would glow with a hope that she is

around.

He would search the crowd with

a hope that she may be around

only to realize she is present in his

heart and soul.

Anger and sadness walked inside

while smile danced outside.

People disturbed his soul,

whilst solitude rejuvenated.

All that was left was memoirs of the

glory past where she walked beside him

now all that was left was a damaged armor

with a sword on his back

passing through the heart

as a mark of the LOVE that

once tamed the savage beast.

Words wanted to come out

but couldn’t speak out

for the senses also cheated .

Hope was lost, dreams were crushed.

Happiness was destroyed.

A mini-universe within

collapsed onto destruction.

All the alcohol in the world

all the smiles in the universe

could not relieve him

of the fire burning inside..

The flame burns till now

hoping for her return

destroying him inch by inch.

Somedays he wants to destroy

the world

somedays he just wants to see the world

burn down by itself.

Somedays he wants to hunt down the wolves

somedays he becomes the wolf.

Some days he is at a paradox with himself

and some days he is at peace.

And that my friend is the reality

the bruises that love leaves behind

when love leaves………

That is the state of the heartbroken

who fight the demons which they

help create…

pain is a daily

routine when one tries

to express in words they just go

numb…. for some pain

are felt and not expressed

for some emotions are cruel

beyond …

 

 

 

 

Staring into the Abyss

There was a part of life

where everything seemed

as a happy fairy tale

there was a pinch of sadness,

anger, love, care and everything

nice.

But along the way

the story got a twist,

the whole world

turned upside down

the once presumed miracle

turned out to be a curse.

The smile from the heart

turned into a masquerade

of happiness.

The cry for all of it to end

was in vain

for life had its own plan

not for the betterment

but for the torment.

Memories were not cherished

rather served as a needle

to poke the wound.

Positivism of life

suddenly turned into

an never ending black hole.

The paper also couldn’t

absorb the  enormous

load of pain.

Loads of paper, bottles of ink,

glasses of alcohol, river of tears

nothing could take away

what was snatched away

from life…

All that was left

was just stare into the

abyss awaiting for all of it

to end scared to jump

worried to stand

just stare into the abyss……

 

Cheers to life

Airboy89

and thats it…

It was meant to be

or was it intended to be

both lead to the same outcome

on a smaller scale.

memories were created

knowing that the

future was unknown.

It didnt hurt a bit

when reality bit in installments

But it hurt when the installments

added up to the larger picture

and created you and I

from us.

What once united us

made you and me today.

There is no tears in

the depth of regret.

There is no pain in

the well of depression.

There is just

a small

hope,

hope not for the new

beginning, but a hope

for a dark subtle

life away from all

and the world.

But everytime

I try to reach that paradise

which I call as such,

Is withheld by the thought of

the massacre it would

leave behind if i reach my destination.

there is no medicine to cure these

sleepless nights

There is no music to sooth

there is just

the thoughts, thoughts

which not all understand.

An all time working brain

to mum the heart.

Words metaphorically

trying to express the depth of thoughts

same time not to be understand by all

for that is meant to be; for that is truly intended to be…..

and that’s it.

 

Cheers to life